The G.O.A.T.

LeBron James is the Greatest Of All Time. I’ll tell you why in a minute.

I’m not the biggest sports fan. In fact, I don’t guess I’m a “fan” at all, if that’s short for fanatic. I enjoy watching sports. Most all sports really. I love a close game. I understand the rules in most sports (except for cricket), and can follow along and be entertained by the process. I usually root for the underdog, and if I have a favorite team its because of something unrelated to the sport. Usually the off court personality of one of the players is enough to sway my vote.

But, I confess, living in Lexington KY and NOT being a college basketball fan has me on the shallow end of the bell curve. I have blue shirts that say “UK” on them (purchased at goodwill), but I tend to wear them when I’m in Louisville. I wear my Louisville shirts in Lexington.

I have friends who are fanatics. I think it’s great; something to get excited over. I only take issue when a TV gets broken or when they refer to their team using “we.” As in, “We’ve got a tough schedule this season.” No, Wendel, “they” have a tough schedule.

What I like most about sports is watching people trying real hard to do something tangible. Hitting a round baseball with a round bat is amazing. A great golf swing is a work of art. Athletes these days are finely tuned instruments who have dedicated their entire existence to the pursuit of their sport. I’m thinking about Ronnie Coleman. Eight time Mr. Olympian. 13 spinal surgeries later and the guy can’t go down an isle at Walmart without a motorized cart.

The body as a finely tuned instrument wasn’t always the case. I grew up during the John Daly/Craig Stadler/Andre Smith era. Shaq and Barkley come to mind too. I’m not casting aspersions; the last person to ask me to be on a sports team was when my dad was coaching t-ball. And it was my dad that asked me. And my contract wasn’t renewed. So no hate here.

Actually, I was asked to be on a college intramural basketball team because they didn’t have enough players and a few years ago a friend asked me to be on a USTA tennis team here in Lexington. I made more fouls than baskets on the college team and I quit playing tennis when I almost got in a fight with Victor, a player on another team. A couple years later I reluctantly hired Victor at our practice and then enthusiastically fired him six months later.

Back to the topic: I’ve been listening to the debate the last few years: Who’s the GOAT? Michael or LeBron? I’ve watched this debate get heated more than a few times. From both sides. Somebody asked me once who I thought was better, Michael or LeBron. I said I thought they both were amazing. That is the wrong answer to give a sports fan. But that’s pretty consistent with me. I also think Palestine and Israel both are making compelling arguments these days.

But LeBron gets my vote for three reasons. First, he has put the biscuit in the basket more than any other player in NBA history. He recently surpassed 40,000 points scored in his amazing career. Games are decided by the score. That should be the end of discussion. But wait, there’s more!

The second reason: An old photo (2013 I think) of LeBron James’ feet recently resurfaced it caught my eye. I don’t really like feet to begin with. I’m not a big fan of other people’s feet, and I don’t like people touching mine. I’ve never had a pedicure and I’m rarely barefoot. It’s not like feet gross me out. I guess I think about feet as often as I think about elbows.

If you haven’t seen the photo, a quick Google search will show you what I saw. Dude’s dogs are barking!

I am as ignorant about podiatry as I am about sports, but it looks to me like the guy has sacrificed his body moving side to side for so many years and his feet have paid the price. So I looked up Michael Jordan’s feet for comparison. They’re a little jacked up, but nowhere near as bad a LeBron’s. So LeBron wins this category.

The third reason: While I’ve never met either player, I have read accounts of others who have. And I have concluded that LeBron is nicer than Michael. Generally.

Now, if you’re a sports fan and you didn’t throw your phone down earlier when I referred to James’ scoring prowess as “putting the biscuit in the basket,” which is a phrase used in hockey, which I used intentionally just to annoy any of you sports fans out there, then my third reason surely sent your device across the room.

It’s days like this that I’m glad I have my comments disabled on this blog!